Oh that "..." feeling

To set the record straight: I know that I got caught up in a whirlwind romance, that I never looked back,  and that I had my day. But I just want more. I hope this is just because of the long distance relationship that I got stuck in, but I want my husband to surprise me, to make me feel special, to get me. He just isn't smooth.. he doesn't know how to plan anything out!

I just feel like I'm not special. And I know that he tries, he really does, but it's like he doesn't know who I am. He said he had a "surprise" for when I visited him last month. This turned out to be something he already asked me about, visiting a town about an hour away. And his plan for this was to just go there... we didn't get there until after 9 pm, and he wanted to stay in a hotel somewhere. Well, one would think that would mean that he had reservations.. no. We went from hotel to hotel trying to find a place to stay.  Then we went to dinner and went to bed. We had to leave in the morning so that he could go to work. It was a complete waste of time and money. He was trying to make me feel special, but if he had an actual plan I would have felt special. There is never a plan. We fly by the seat of his pants, and I feel like he doesn't care enough to put actual time and effort into it. I just dont know what to do with it.

And he tries to be considerate. He knows that I don't eat leftovers because food doesn't taste as good to me after it has been sitting in the fridge. Makes sense - you microwave leftovers to heat them up, and microwave food just isn't as good as food cooked on the stove or in the oven. But we had gone to a steak place and I couldn't eat all mine. In fact I didn't try to eat it all so that I could have some later. And he ate less than 24 hours later.. I never even had a chance. He just makes assumptions.. And I'm sorry that I'm not a typical girl - I don't want jewelry, I don't wear much of it. It really has to be something that I want. But I don't have the same wants as every girl. I'm not his ex of 5 years.

I just want to feel special. I want more than a "hello" text everyday. I want thought..

Blame it on the distance, or that it's shark week, or that I am too difficult. Whatever you choose. I just want to feel special...